Chat corner 69: NSFW

[annathecrow]

Welcome to this week’s chat corner!

Optional prompt

I’m gonna interrupt our regular topic category rotation because I’m secretly a 13-year-old and look at what number it is. XD

The optional topic for this week is anything related to Star Wars and sex. Sexiest SW character? A character you never, ever want to think about having sex, but now you have and you will not unsee that ever? Favorite smut fic recs? That one Jedi Master who’s canonically allowed to fuck and have multiple wives because his species is near extinction? Whatever you like.

NSFW is allowed for this chat corner and anything in this thread could be NSFW, proceed with caution.

Comments

[annathecrow]

The Dark Side post link, use as per the rules.

[astromech1138]

lol I love this topic!


I consider Mark Hamill's interpretation of Luke to be canon (Disney/LFL be damned) so I'll just drop this here:

https://comicbook.com/starwars/news/star-wars-mark-hamill-luke-skywalker-did-not-die-a-virgin/

This was a pretty tame contribution to the topic so I hope others up the spice factor... ;)

[annathecrow]

Aww. Hamill is a treasure. Lots of actor-fan interactions make me uncomfortable, but he's almost always fun and/or sweet.

And yes! His interpretations of Luke Skywalker are great, he knows the character so well.

[kittywhite]

Tried to pick my hottest icon for this weeks topic ;)

For the "please don't make me ever ever think about this character banging" it's definitely Sidious. I was grossed out when it was revealed he had a son because that meant he had to get freaky with someone but thank the maker it was the result of cloning. Big sigh of relief thank you.
There was also this wild guess theory raised a while back that because it was mentioned in a Clone Wars era novel that he was a good airspeeder racer back in the day that was a hint he was Anakin's real biological father...again please no T-T

[annathecrow]

All I can say to this is that "Jar-Jar Binks/Sheev Palpatine" is a thing that exists. I don't know whether it's meant as gross-out crack or if someone is genuinely into it, but oh my god.

I mean, obviously ship-shaming is bad, to each their own, KINKTOMATO etc etc etc, but oh my god.

[yourlibrarian]

I can only assume this involves a lot of torture.

[astromech1138]

oh my god I hate that this is now in my head lol

[annathecrow]

TCW is a kid show, yet somehow S03E13 Monster is the most risqué story in all the SW media I've consumed so far. Also freaking rape-y, which irritates me to no end because oh come on, why does the matriarchal society have to be the Evil Man-Eaters Of Outer Space?

Also, I sure hope that whatever the Selection is, it's not the usual Dathomiri process of choosing sexual partners, because otherwise they'd run out of males very fast.

I should read the Nightwitch arc in the Republic comics, if only to compare and contrast, but ugh, why should I expose myself to more of this bullshit...

[yourlibrarian]

I've only been through Clone Wars once and it's been a while now so my memory of this is (perhaps mercifully) vague. But yes, matriarchies never seem to fare well.

[fleurviolette]

Ahahaha real mature…

Luke and Mara would attempt to add 34 and 35.

[annathecrow]

if you mean Rule 34 and Rule 35 from the rules of internet, then LOL, I bet. Also, I'm sure the two of them had, ahem, experimented with the Force. They're young, they're both Force-sensitive, they have no hangups related to Jedi Order Code and its "you shall not [insert whatever confused interpretation thereof]". "Inappropriate use of the Force", ha. XD

[fleurviolette]

Omg 34 + 35 = overused number with those jokes

Luke and Mara have a strong force bond, so probably they would try some things.

[sathari]

Oh, I like this!!!

Okay, for one thing, I've always thought that given that the Jedi did apparently believe that Force sensitivity runs in family lines, that any Jedi who could reproduce without compromising mission effectiveness or having a biological/biochemical tendency to attach to their offspring during the procreation process would have been encouraged to, not to put too fine a point on it, breed like rabbits. And also to turn over lists of their partners to the Jedi so the Order could follow up and see if their offspring proved out. (I'm guessing that bearing members of viviparous species would be on the "compromises mission effectiveness/tendency for biochemical attachment" list, hence "follow up with partners".) And that one of the reasons the Jedi Order distrusted Anakin was that he refused to--- not only was he in love with and then married to Padme, but even if he hadn't been, it reminded him too much of the way the Hutts and other slavers treated their slaves as breeding stock and he was not playing that.

Getting into more fun and kinky aspects of sex, I've always headcanoned that both Anakin and his grandson Ben naturally tend to be lifestyle submissives, specifically wanting to be the strong right fist of the women they loved.

And relatedly, somewhere in there I've also developed the headcanon that the Sith, specifically during the Sith Empire period (my old love for SW:TOR comes back to haunt me)... okay, look, the Sith Code starts with, "Peace is a lie; there is only passion/ Through passion I gain strength", and so it just seems logical that there is a whole branch of Sith scripture on passion--- cross the Kama Sutra with the Songs of Solomon and throw in some BDSM kink and you've got the idea. And that Anakin qua Vader, mourning Padme's death and (justly) blaming himself for it, amassed a whole collection of the subset of that Sith literature that were written by, you guessed it, other men who gained strength by being (ahem) "the sword in their mistress' hand, to be wielded at her pleasure" and similar metaphors. And that Ben qua Kylo finds his grandfather's poetry collection and after Rey cuts his face open has to restrain himself from declaiming Sith love poetry at her every time the Force connects them. (Also that Rey giving him that scar is a significant part of his spank bank thereafter.)

And, on a somewhat happier note, since Force ghosts are a thing and it's canon that Rey and Ben could interact with each other physically through the Force bond even when they weren't physically together, Ben Solo is now spending his afterlife as Rey's on-demand astral booty call--- anytime she wants anything from sexytiems to just someone to talk and cuddle with, all she has to do is call, and "You're hard to get rid of" is their version of the "I know" in-joke his parents had, because Rey wants him to come find her now. (Also that Rey, with her feelings about having her parents come back for her, had kind of secretly liked it that Ben|Kylo kept coming back for her, and especially liked it that he came back all the way to the light for her, although he insists that it's more like the "Yes, dear" side of the Force as opposed to the light qua the light, because he was very definitely attached to and afraid for her when he came to find her in her grandfather's stronghold.)

And, finally, someone mentioned not wanting to think about Palpatine and sex... and I just have to say that I find Ian McDiarmid as of TPM a complete silver fox and utterly hot, though not in any of the other movies. I may have written some Qui-gon/Palptine fanfic at some point, now lost to the mists of time and computer transfers.

[annathecrow]

Oh lol. Every time you come with one of your Reylo comments I'm like "I have nothing to say to...this...." and then I end up writing a screed. XD

The "Force runs in families" -- this is pretty interesting, actually. It obviously does to some degree - hence the Skywalkers - but also just as obviously does not, at least in Legends. There's a lot of characters who are born to random non-Force-sensitive parents.

Which, actually... if Force-sensitivity was dependably heritable, there would be more than a few actual Force dynasties, e.g. ruling classes with Force sensitivity that they used to control their peers. Which there are not, even in Legends, unless you count the Dathomir Witches. Therefore either Force itself stomps that out (so any culture that starts down that path stops actually producing Force-sensitives), or that kind of dynamic is always Dark Side use and it's the Jedi who break it apart (legally, because the Republic).

Dathomir Zabraks might be evidence to the second. They have Force-sensitive ruling class (the Witches), they're already doing questionable shit under Mother Talzin's reign, and if it weren't for Order 66 the Jedi would probably step in sooner or later as they overreached themselves into something the Republic would recognize as a threat.

Sith sex poetry, Sith and BDSM -- okay, I have to admit, intriguing, but also... I feel like it could only work in a very non-canon view of the Sith. Because there's no way canon!Sith would understand (or honor) the concept of consent, and without that it ain't BDSM it's sexual abuse. See Dathomir Witches.

And I mean, again KINKTOMATO etc! If someone likes to read or write that stuff then more power to them! I just feel like you'd need to keep the lines drawn very clearly, because problematic sexual fantasies are one thing, and mudding up the definition of BDSM is another.

Which, ACTUALLY. I so wish all the cowards involved in writing the TCW Dathomir Witches would have accepted that they want Force-sensitive femdom and wrote it properly, instead of hiding it under "but they're all EEEEVIL". Either don't put your kink into a kids show or do it better, dammit.

[sathari]

I'm glad I give you thoughts!

I'm not up on TCW with the exception of the movie, but I would probably agree with your estimate of how the writers handled the Dathomiri.

Interesting idea about the Force itself canceling out Force-sensitive dynasties. (I have literally written Ben and Rey agreeing that they are not going to reproduce, between all the conflicting weight of family legacies on both sides that were bad enough for Ben and the fact that their offspring would probably be, like, insubstantial balls of pure Force energy.)

On the BDSM thing--- okay, nearly all of my ideas about the Sith Empire come from a brief time when I was playing SW:TOR basically every spare moment, and it's more like I think there's enough diversity in the whole of the Sith Empire that you'd get a range of views and behaviors, because that's definitely a thing I noticed both in terms of story and gameplay, (and, hell, when last I looked the RL BDSM community mixes it up on various subjects relating to what is and is not okay). The specific stuff I'm thinking about is, as I say, what's basically Anakin's shrine to his late wife, so it's definitely heavy on male authors voluntarily submitting to their mistresses. (In fact, I headcanon that Anakin carefully didn't collect the complement, female authors writing to the men who've submitted to them, because he didn't want to put words in Padme's mouth--- he hadn't earned getting to imagine that she'd write anything like that to him.)

With the issue of consent, I can also imagine that passion-based ways of raising Force power could actually require that all parties are down for it--- if one or more parties are fighting it, that's energy that's going against whatever's trying to be accomplished in the way of raising power. Essentially, that's your idea for a built-in failsafe on the part of the Force itself against Force-sensitive dynasties, but applied to kink and consent. And frankly, I bet you're right that a lot of the Sith would not want to follow, call it the way of passion, because it does require the consent of all participants to be effective at raising power through sex. So probably more like a quirky fringe movement or movements over the history of the Empire rather than a "mainstream" philosophy. Or, you know, the thing that every generation does where it thinks it invented sex and then most of the Sith who try raising power through passion flunk lunch at it, but there's enough of them who make it work that there's a body of literature for Anakin|Vader to collect in honor of his late wife. (And, okay, you have just made me imagine flower-child hippie Sith. Thank you for that. I think.)

[annathecrow]

Thank you for giving me those thoughts! :D I appreciate the chance to overthink stuff.

"the thing that every generation does where it thinks it invented sex" --- okay, I cackled XD

"flower-child hippie Sith" --- I love this! I mean, I'd imagine them more like Wicca or one of those sex-positive interpretations of Satanism, but still, heeeeee :D Now I'm extremely tempted to take them and toss them at someone like TCW!Anakin XD That would be such an entertaining trainwreck!

The SWTOR-era Sith Empire being less homogenous --- that makes sense, both in-universe and on meta level. With the numbers the Sith have, I would believe they wouldn't all think and behave the same. I haven't played Sith in SWTOR yet so I can't comment on the canon storyline portrayal, but obviously the players themselves don't all play them as scenery-munching Zomg Evul types.